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    August 26

    关于你做过的最残忍的事

    据说,在西方的某个国家,男女方相识且爱意萌生时,会很郑重地问对方三个问题,分别是:一,你所做的最残忍的事情是什么;二,你在十二岁以后做的最丢人的事是什么?三,做噩梦最怕梦见什么?不要小看这三个问题哦,每个人的回答会折射出他的童年生活、家庭教育甚至是性格和心理问题。

    刚刚和木木交往的小懒听说后,开始拷问木木同学。

    小懒:木木,你做过的最残忍的事情是什么?

    木木:……呃,要说实话吗?

    小懒:当然了。

    木木:那个,那个,最残忍的事情,是小学的时候,我家附近的海边长了很多仙人掌。我们去海边玩,看到很多青蛙。于是大家就一起捉青蛙,把青蛙甩到仙人掌上,看谁甩得多,甩得准……

    小懒(尴尬地):果然够残忍。

    木木(不好意思地):呃,然后我把青蛙带回家中,我爸爸就用鞭子抽。

    小懒(诧异得下巴差点掉下来):什么?这,你爸爸比你残忍多了吧?你那时候小,不懂事可以理解,但是你爸爸用鞭子抽青蛙我就不理解了,你们一家都是什么人啊,天!

    木木:哎呀,你理解错了,不是那个意思——我爸爸没有抽青蛙,他是拿鞭子抽我。

    小懒(疑惑地):拿鞭子抽你?为什么?就因为你把青蛙甩到了仙人掌上?教育教育就得了呗,抽你——有点太过分了吧?

    木木(冒汗ing):那个,我不止把青蛙甩到仙人掌上——因为逮的太多,没甩完,所以就把青蛙装到袋子里带回家,偷偷塞在了床底下。

    小懒:这也不至于拿鞭子抽你啊?

    木木(汗如雨下):呃,主要因为后来不知道怎么搞的,青蛙从袋子里跑出来了。半夜里在我家地板上又蹦又跳,拼命地叫……全家人都给吵醒了,我爸打开灯看到满地的青蛙就受不了了……

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